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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Rated PG-13

Directed by Steven Spielberg.  Starring Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett.

Movie Review by Rev. Bruce Batchelor Glader
Photo: Paramount Pictures'

If it takes filmmakers over fifteen years to decide if they really should do another film in a series, they probably should forget about it.  But a strong fan base, potential profits, and producer George Lucas’ ability to never let go of a cash cow (he made three unnecessary Star Wars films and will be soon releasing an animated Star Wars movie) have carried the day.  This film is set in the 1950s and Indy is summoned to race against the Russians to discover the secret of this crystal skull that will lead everyone to South America where everything will be revealed, just in time to set things up for…another sequel?  This movie is a mash-up of pieces and parts of the previous Indiana Jones films, with some returning characters, a new young sidekick (played with gusto by Shia LeBeouf), and less-than-thrilling chases and escapades courtesy of the good people at Industrial Light & Magic (Lucas’ special effects house).  Most of the first hour is filled with tiresome exposition about the mystery that we are about to encounter.  The second hour’s “thrills” can be compared to watching someone who has mastered a videogame show you how she gets through all of the levels.  And believe me when I tell you not to worry about keeping up with the plot points – the whole thing implodes with a big snore finale at the end.  Harrison Ford seems somewhat bored in the dramatic scenes, but he comes to life in the action sequences, and I really was glad to see Karen Allen return as Marion Ravenswood.  I’m sure that there are a lot of folks who will enjoy the ride.  But, as I’ve said before, if I want a ride, I’ll go to Cedar Point and go on a ride. 

Pitchfork Rating: Two halos. (The C.S. Lewis fantasy series seems less spiritual and more generic the second time around.)   One pitchfork. (For some violence, some mild swearing, and anti-Russian stereotypes)

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