MESSAGE IN THE MOVIES

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides   Rated PG-13

Directed by Rob Marshall.  Starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz.

Photo © Walt Disney Pictures
Movie Review by Rev. Bruce Batchelor Glader

On Stranger Tides is the fourth film based on the Disneyland theme park ride “Pirates of the Caribbean”, and probably the second best film in the franchise.  That’s not saying much when you consider the lackluster plotting and yawn-inducing length of Pirates 2 and 3.  This film seems to breeze along at just 2¼ hours (the shortest film of the bunch) and it is certainly likeable enough.  Loaded with great performers (including Depp, Cruz, Geoffrey Rush and Ian McShane as Blackbeard) and filmed on location in Hawaii and on the beautiful London sets of Pinewood Studios, the film is filled with fantastic creatures (including mermaids) and swashbuckling swordplay.

The plot is easy to follow – it’s basically a race to get to the Fountain of Youth – but a sillier storyline would be hard to find (although this year’s Fast Five comes close).   There’s a special map needed to help you find the way to the fountain, special items that must be obtained, a specific formula that must be followed, and even some kind of portal that must be entered to get you to the destination – and everyone seems to make their way across land and sea with very few missteps.

There’s a lot of humor and good times to be had. Since everyone on this journey is a bit of a rascal, it’s hard to judge any character too harshly for their misbehavior. 

It’s just not that much fun.  This movie reportedly cost $400 million to make, including some so-so 3D effects.  I often wonder how much good scripts cost, since they seem so hard to come by.   I understand that the Disneyland attraction has added the character of Blackbeard to this summer’s version, perhaps the first time a ride has been updated to promote a sequel of the film inspired by the ride.

I actually know people who have enjoyed every Pirates of the Caribbean film; if you are a fan, you should be happy with this one.  There’s more to come; Disney has the fifth film in preproduction for a Summer 2013 release.  Permission, captain, to walk the plank?

Pitchfork/Halo Ratings:

One halo: A decent time-passer, although there are dozens of better ways to pass the time

Two pitchforks:Mild sexual innuendo, pirate violence.

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