MESSAGE IN THE MOVIES

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Rated PG 13

Directed by Oliver Stone.  Starring Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf.

Photo © 2010 20th Century Fox
Movie Review by Rev. Bruce Batchelor Glader

It is 2002 and Gordon Gekko, the snarky Wall Street investment tycoon from 1987’s film Wall Street, is released from prison after serving fourteen years in prison for insider trading. No one is waiting to pick him up.

Six years later, the United States is experiencing a financial upturn and Gekko’s celebrity is still somewhat intact, so he gives motivational speeches at colleges.  He is in front of undergraduate business students, in a designer suit, slicked-down hair and a smile that can light up Manhattan.  He begins his address with these words: “Someone reminded me I once said ‘Greed is good’. Now it seems it's legal. Because everyone is drinking the same Kool-Aid.”

In just three sentences, the audience is reminded (somewhat self-congratulatory) of a mantra from the first film, the Jonestown massacre of 1978, and the current recession.  Wow!  What a concept!And since this movie takes place in 2006, Gekko’s comments are downright prophetic.

While the first Wall Street film played out as a morality tale about greed corrupting everything it touches, this movie seems to be simply a story about a rich kid coming out ahead in the midst of a failing economy. 

When we first meet Jake Moore (LaBeouf), the young protagonist of this film, he is living with Gekko’s daughter Winnie (Carey Milligan) and hoping to marry into the family.  He is himself a Wall Street trader (which Winnie begrudgingly accepts) and has just received a $1 million dollar “bonus” check from his investment firm’s CEO. 

Well, as we all know, the bubble is about to burst, the hammer’s about to come down, and for the next two hours we get to watch Jake try to save his job, get his girlfriend to reconcile with her father, and learn some lessons from her old man. 

What exactly are the lessons?  Not much, but there are a few “surprise twists” (that you can see coming miles away).  For most of its running time, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is one long speech after another bemoaning the state of a runaway economy, “explaining” it in such arcane terms that I still couldn’t understand. 

It was like a preacher describing justification to a three year old. (And just what is justification, anyway?) This is what I know: I once was richer than I am today and many people are out of work.  I understand that. 

What I don’t understand is why I spent 2 hours and 13 minutes with rich affluent people that I never liked or cared for, lecturing me about the big mistakes that are already in the past. 

Money may not sleep, but I came close to nodding off about three times watching this dreadful film. 

You can start saving money today! Don’t buy a ticket to Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

Pitchfork/Halo Ratings:
One halo.
A charity halo from me, but due to the recent economic downturn, a halo isn’t worth as much as it used to be.

Two pitchforks.
Greed, conspicuous consumption, one suicide and some swearing including the “It’s PG-13 so you get to hear me once” F-Bomb.

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