Edition: May 25, 2015
Understanding Male Sexuality
by Ester Perel
“A man’s sexuality is integral to everything he does, according to Esther Perel.
It’s reflected in how he lives, how he approaches his work and recreation, and how he meets—or dodges—challenges. In the [psychotherapy] consulting room, Esther simply mirrors that integration, introducing the subject of a man’s sexuality, his sexual practice, his approach to sex, and its place in his life in an effortless, organic way.”
Are Some Men Just Incapable of Empathy?
by Pat Love
”Pat Love on rethinking the ‘empathy gap’ in light of the latest science.
“Have you ever wondered if some men in your practice [church] are simply unable to listen, connect, and empathize with their partners? She says it’s more likely that our definition of empathy is just too narrow. The latest research in brain and gender science reveals the many ways men and women experience many aspects of relationship differently.
“In this clip, Pat explains the neurobiology of male empathy and what that looks like in the consulting room. This one is preception-changing.”
Mating in Captivity
by Esther Perel
“One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.”
“The story of sex in committed modern couples often tells of a dwindling desire and includes a long list of sexual alibis, which claim to explain the inescapable death of eros. Recently, it seems, everyone from the morning news to the New York Times has weighed in on the topic. They warn us that too many couples are having infrequent sex even when the partners profess to love each other. Today’s twosomes are too busy, too stressed, too involved in child rearing, and too tired for sex. And if all this isn’t enough to dull their senses, then it’s the antidepressants meant to alleviate the stress that set off the final unraveling. This is indeed an ironic development for the baby boomers who some thirty years ago ushered in a new age of sexual liberation. Now that these men and women and the generations who have followed can have as much sex as they want, they seem to have lost their desire for it.
“Though I have no quarrel with the accuracy of these reports in the media—our lives are surely more stressful than they should be—it seems to me that in focusing almost exclusively on the frequency and quantity of sexual relations, they address only the most superficial reasons for the malaise so many couples are feeling. I think there’s more to the story.”
Sex Drive: In Pursuit of Female Desire
by Bella Ellwood-Clayton
“For many women an active sex life is on the bottom of their "to do" list—is women's sexual desire in the Western world at an all time low? A sexual anthropologist investigates.
“Lack of libido is women's most common sexual problem, and once in a secure relationship, a woman's sex drive often begins to plummet. Exploring what libido is and why it is being depleted, this book argues that women don't want sex because they don't feel sexy. At a time when women's libidos are being threatened by the wider forces of media, marketing, and medication and increasingly pressured lives, who can blame them? With increasing numbers of women with low libido being diagnosed as "sexually dysfunctional," the race to create a "pink Viagra" is on. This book engages such questions as Do we have unrealistic expectations about our sex drive? Who defines what is normal and abnormal? And could "low libido" in fact be the natural order of things? Provocative, authoritative, and engaging, this book is both fascinating reading and sure to create passionate debate.”
10 Things You Need to Know about Female Sexuality
by Bella Ellwood-Clayton
Sexual Anthropologist, Author
“What is the true nature of female sexuality? When it comes to women's priorities, why, once in a secure relationship, is sex no longer on top? Exploring what defines women's libido and why it becomes depleted, I investigate whether we have unrealistic expectations about our sex drive, who defines what is normal and abnormal, and if 'low libido' is in fact the natural order of things. I also provide concrete ways women can work toward defining their own jouissance--a personalized female sexuality that can lead to a more sensual, vibrant life.”
Our Spiritual Formation/Meditation Groups will not be meeting at our regular time this summer and will resume in September. Please take note and plan to take part in the two upcoming spiritual formation opportunities: Annual Conference Spiritual Formation Gathering and Luncheon and Summer Spiritual Formation Retreat. See details below.
Annual Conference Spiritual Formation Gathering and Luncheon
Tuesday, June 16, 2015 - Noon
Upper Room of the Dock Pavilion
Free Lunch, Fellowship and a Time of Meditation
Summer Spiritual Formation Retreat
Tuesday, August 18, 2015 - 9:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.
A Love Meditation
by Lorin Roche
“Love is a tangible phenomenon, not just a romantic ideal. It is a sensory experience that can be cultivated, and that we can learn to dwell in.
“Say the word, “love” quietly to yourself right now, a couple of times, listen to the resonance of it, and wonder about what it means. The word love is one of the sweetest sounds in the language. Listen to how soft it is, soft as a glove.
“Depending on how you’re feeling at the moment, you may be a bit defensive when you think about love, or you may embrace the opportunity to enjoy yourself. Accept whatever mood you’re in as part of the experience, and experiment with these questions:
When have you known love in your life?
When you think of what love is, whom have you loved?
\In your current life, who is it you love the most intensely?”View entire meditation ...
The Program in Pastoral Care and Counseling encourages the spiritual formation of our pastors believing a strong spiritual base is the greatest resource a church leader can possess. It helps us weather the many storms of ministry and deepens the incredible joys ministry provides. Following is a list of Spiritual Directors in our area. We encourage you to take advantage of this rich resource. This listing will appear in each edition of our bi-monthly webpage updates and new names and contact information will be provided as we learn of them and have permission to include them. If you are a director or know of a director that is not included here please let us know.
Debbie Baker - firstname.lastname@example.org
Bruce Batchler-Glader – email@example.com
Harry Finkbone - Finkbone1@gmail.com
Liz Nau – firstname.lastname@example.org
Jennifer Olin-Hitt – email@example.com
Sharon Seyfarth Garner – firstname.lastname@example.org
Boost Your Self-Image
“The most common reason people lack self-esteem is because they don’t live up to the standards they think they should, says Adrienne Hughes, a life coach and motivational speaker with Atlas Consulting Global. These expectations are programmed into our minds by family, culture and the environment, and many times, we don’t know why we’ve adopted certain standards or even consciously realize that we have.”
What to do?
The East Ohio Conference Pastoral Care Office:
1445 Harrison Avenue NW · Suite 301
Canton, Ohio 44708
Toll Free: 866-456-3600
Office Hours: Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
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