East Ohio Conference

East Ohio Conference

≡
  • About Us
    • Welcome/Vision
    • Bishop's Office
    • Conference Staff
    • Districts/Churches
    • Annual Conference
    • Jurisdictional Conference
    • General Conference
    • General Agencies of The UMC
    • Christian Family Credit Union
    • Methodist Foundation of Ohio
  • Ministries
    • Connectional Ministries
    • Strategic Ministries
    • Missions & Community Engagement
    • Multicultural Ministries
    • Young People's Ministries
    • Higher Education
    • Camps & Retreat Ministries
    • Spiritual Formation
  • Disaster Response
    • Responding to Disasters
    • EOC Disaster Response Plan
    • Disaster Response Coordinators
    • Early Response Teams
  • Clergy
    • Pathways to Ministry
    • Board of Ministry
    • Order of Elders
    • Order of Deacons
    • Fellowship of Local Pastors
    • Retired Pastors
    • Clergy Directory
    • Clergy Well-Being
    • Changing Pastors?
    • Continuing Education
    • Sexual Ethics Policy
  • Laity
    • Pathways to Ministry
    • Board of Laity
    • Lay Leaders
    • Lay Servants
    • United Women in Faith
    • General Agencies of The UMC
  • Finance/Benefits
    • Financial & Administrative Services
    • Online Forms
    • Online Payments
    • Shared Ministry/Stewardship
    • Health Benefits
    • HealthFlex Wellness
    • Clergy Pensions
    • Death & Disability Benefits
  • Communications
    • About the Office
    • #BeUMC Campaign
    • Storyboard Podcast
    • Church Websites 411
    • Social Media 411
    • CCLI & CVLI Licensing
    • E-News
  • News
    • East Ohio News
    • E-News
    • Obituaries
    • Classifieds
  • Resources
    • Conference Journal
    • #BeUMC Campaign
    • CCLI & CVLI Licensing
    • Lighthouse Churches
    • Portico Online Learning
    • Resilient Leadership
    • Teach • Reach • Bless
    • Stand Against Racism
    • EOC Disaffiliation Pathway
    • Stand with Ukraine
    • Coronavirus (COVID-19)
    • Online Worship Services
    • The Rule of Christ
    • Safe Sanctuaries
    • Message in Movies
    • Archives and History
    • General Agencies of The UMC
    • UMC Find-A-Church
  • Calendar
    • View Calendar
    • Suggest Calendar Event
  • Events Registration

Home | Message in the Movies

MESSAGE IN THE MOVIES

Film strip

Dog - In Theaters

halo pitchfork pitchfork pitchfork pitchfork Rated PG-13

Directed by Reid Carolin and Channing Tatum
Starring Channing Tatum, Q'orianka Kilcher


If possible, before reading this review, watch the trailer for Dog. The preview implies that this is a nice, family-friendly movie about an Army Ranger and his K-9 companion on a wacky road trip to a military funeral. That’s what I thought I was going to see and I was not alone. There were several families with young children at the matinee that I attended.

Boy, were we barking up the wrong tree! The aptly named Dog of a movie was off and running with one of the most threadbare plots and one of the most unlikable lead characters of recent years. Channing Tatum plays Briggs, an Army Ranger on leave of absence, recovering not only from brain trauma following tours of duty in the Middle East but also PTSD. Briggs wants to return to active duty, but the authorities are reluctant to move ahead since Briggs has a few problems with anger management.

They strike a deal with Briggs. If he can transport Lulu, a Belgian Malinois dog, across country by car (Lulu doesn’t like to fly) to attend the funeral of her handler, they will consider moving ahead with Briggs’ reentry. Oh – and by the way – Lulu suffers from PTSD, too!

Their adventure starts in Ft. Lewis, Washington with the destination of Nogales, Arizona. It’s a 25-hour trip so they will have to make a few stops along the way. Lulu will be a handful, but Briggs figures that he can still have fun and make it to the funeral on time. His escapades will include trying to pick up women in a bar, and another occasion in which Tantric sex practitioners invite him to consider a conjugal threesome. And that’s just the sex stuff! He will also drink to excess, consume marijuana edibles, pretend to be blind to get a free room at a hotel, and flip the bird at other officers just for fun.     

Along the way, their TripTik conveniently includes a visit to a former girlfriend (Kilcher), a reunion with Lulu’s brother in Los Angeles, and more drinking and PTSD episodes.

The three dogs who play Lulu do an admirable job, but even they have little to work with. There is not a single scene in which the dog gets fed or let out for a relief run.

Are we having fun? Not at all. This “comedy” has no laughs. The best jokes are all in the trailer, which is better edited than the movie. There is absolutely nothing in this movie to recommend.

I must admit that I cried at the closing scene in which Briggs and Lulu share a tender moment of friendship.

I cried: “Let me out of here!”

Woof!

Halo and Pitchfork Rating:

One halo: A boy and his dog always get a halo from me.
Four pitchforks: Attempted one-night stands and other hookup options; drug and alcohol use; profanity and obscene gestures; acts of deception; breaking and entering.

Comment:

Do you have comments about this movie or movie review? E-mail your comments. (Your name and UM affiliation must be supplied in order for your comments to be posted.)

 

≡
  • Current Review
  • Past Reviews

 

Bryant

Reviews by
Rev. Bruce Batchelor-Glader

COMMENTS! Do you have comments about this movie or movie review?
E-mail comments. (Comments will be posted to our web site.)

The East Ohio Conference Office:
located in North Canton, OH,
near Akron-Canton Airport.

Address:
8800 Cleveland Ave. NW
North Canton, OH 44720

Phones/Fax:
Local: (330) 499-3972
Toll Free: (800) 831-3972
Fax: (330) 499-3279

Office Hours:
Monday through Friday
8:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

 

  • Facebook Instagram Twitter Vimeo Flickr

  • Bishop's Office
  • Districts and Churches
  • Conference Staff
  • POLICIES AND PROCEDURES:
  • Safe Sanctuaries
  • Sexual Ethics
  • CCLI & CVLI Licensing
  • Terms of Use Policies
  • RESOURCES:
  • Conference Journal
  • E-News
  • News Archives
  • Archives and History
  • EAST OHIO CONFERENCE
  • 8800 Cleveland Ave. NW
  • North Canton, OH 44720 Map
  • (800) 831-3972
  • www.eocumc.com

East Ohio Conference Logo© EAST OHIO CONFERENCE. All Rights Reserved.